July 16, 2007

Antelope dreams (I kiss cellulite goodbye)

There are plenty of times I wish I were a twig, an Antelope or a mere lizard, just for the sake of making my relatives happy and achieving that wonderful goal, etc. I've seriously thought to myself on occassion, "Please, Let me be lanky again so I have an excuse to feel like an Antelope!" I haven't lucked out, yet, and this sucks even more so when I find that my size 34 roomy pants are now.....not so roomy. I've got these khaki cords I love that I bought because they felt super a few years ago. They fit just right, and looked a little dandy because I didn't have enough of a belly roll to keep myself from looking like a total neck. So, imagine my horror when I pulled them out to wear last month and found that they fit absolutely funny. No pooling, no belt needed---flab aplenty to hold them in place.


You know those butt-kicking moments that actually re-invigorate you sometimes? The running shorts moment will stand out for me as one of those catalysts that got me back into the running after a 3-month off-the-wagon-falling. For whatever reason, when I started getting sick, I suddenly stopped going to the gym ( I had to). I had been running regularly 2-3 times a week, and stopped dead cold. I have not been able to really pinpoint the reason, but I remember mulling over a couple of possible causes, among them the absolutely ridiculous idea that somehow the intensity of my stretching would rip my muscles ( Laughs ). Dumb, but it worked as a great excuse to lounge around.

This week, I got up and forced myself back into running, and back into work-out clothes that are unsettlingly tighter than they once were about 6 months back. I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm actualy motivated, because I loathe the entire experience the whole time I'm sweating and bobbling about. It's the feeling afterward that gets me soaring---the big payoff. As much as it sucks in the doing, I feel so incredible when I'm finished---damn near on top of the world. But, last night I felt like the bionic man, finally doing something I haven't done in years: I HOPPED, I mean hopped way higher than like way back. I regularly jogged and hopped to stretch until I almost dislocated my knee. Yup, things have healed quite nicely by now, and I decided to give it a try along Salcedo Village park last night. I made it almost an entire mile! I HATED every minute of it, but I'm really psyched about it because jogging has always been the only thing that ever kept my weight down. I've never been really fat, but it kept me at a reasonable size that, now in retrospect at several sizes bigger, seems like the golden ring. So, regardless of what people think, regardless of whether or not I think-hope-worry that I'm Mark Ruffalo thin, I really want to stick with this.

Sun up and still smiling

It's good to be fully recovered in my more liberal State, but there is a lingering ooze of memory that only time will help me shake. My mind and heart together keep pressing me to DO something to stop this back log...to somehow change things...and I'm starting to think that simply watching TV is not the solution.

I'm totally inspired by this pic, take a look at the their stuff (Casa Amarillo) - totally fun, think sanfro indie district. I'm so into colors now - I am totally smiling and its five am, should'nt I be in bed?

For the unabashedly eccentric, or those who like conversation pieces, Astrud Crisologo provides the best one-of-a-kind "folk art" products.

Finds: maleta in vintage fabrics, handicrafts and accessories from Sri Lanka, Tibetan furniture

Contact: Casa Amarillo for appointments, call Astrud Crisologo at tel. no. 807-1937 or e-mail casaamarillo@mydestiny.net

(Photo Credit : Flashpack / Cecile Zamora, CA credit : Rey Ilagan )

Stop me - I eat Leather!

(Currently bag-high) pretty destructive, Why Rameeboi's back on track, hello world - goodbye fever! The smell of leather, fabric and paint - totally made me smile, strange? I think so too.


I rarely get booboos anymore, and my temping leave of absence since April was a big part of keeping my sanity. But now....I'm fighting back the googley, giggly tide in a hard, clawing sort of way, trying to convince myself that, really, I DON'T want to ride that politicaly involved career pathing. Time to get out of my comfort zone (and a big fat nose-dive in temps would also be great right about now.)

For a very brief, expensive period of time, I tried buying separate groceries for myself: A big salad and egg tarts from Lord Stowe, toiletries, Apple cider that made me not wanna drink it, cinnamon pudding , total waste!But, making dinner became a complete drag under my system - I could not even turn on the gas stove! What if it explodes infront of me?

Somehow, I have found myself eating kraft cheeze macaroni, and kiddie spaghettios and dimsum for four years eversince I started living on my own . And, suffering for it, too, in the form of weight gain, energy depletion and general body-hating fat feelings. Basic suckage all around, and always hearing that cliche from the health class cartoons: Garbage in, Garbage out! I've definitely had my share of Garbage days and hate the way it makes me feel.


November 03, 2001 ( 3:27 am)

We go home to our Abode
privacy exposed, primary imposed
in our habitat of old
we unleash ourselves
from the deepest recesses
of our collective consciousness
unto our self-made cages
we realize that
we are products of evolution
primal urges take prudence
over other worldly concerns
in his own original form
he partake in this banquet
for a feast of two
in my cage of yours
the communion is due

I feel like a wasted crayon ( still coughing)

I've been doodling with paint since gradeschool. It started out as a mandatory thing that I loathed my instructor for making me paint something I really did'nt like. The stuff I painted was truly Horrible. Emotional and totally strange, but I did it - and realized I loved it.The more I painted , the better I got (I think) so I enjoyed it even more. Over time, it became a stress reliever (aside from retail therapy). When things were pretty down in the dumps, I write. It's not hard for me. It doesn't take much time at all. I'm not a big De Quiros thinker-type, I just write what comes spewing out my enlarged head.
I'm in a drought now. I have had them before - when things are just beyond terribly unpleasant and the " I do not feel like doing anything" kind of phase. Or, when things are just so great and I'm here, lazy, and totally don't feel compelled to write. Thankfully, right now I'm stuck in the latter stage and haven't written anything like who knows when because I'm too dimly content to work.
I tried to work on something fun last week, just to force myself into it, but it went something like this:blank canvas

totally blank

I mean, the thoughts were there, but I couldn't get them to form anything interesting or creative. Instead, I just forced myself up and tossed my sketchbook back on my bedside table. I've never believed in forcing yourself to write or paint. Creative outlets and some good combustion, and when I just "write to write" it comes out like uhh, and then I feel bad and think I have no talent.
What good is that?
Shopping cures depression
(James, I am totally trying to get myself pumped - I need my creativity back after being sick for like three weeks. Totally excited and starting to collect stuff that I could work on for your book project.)

Current Inspiration

Habitat at Rada

Plants' independent lifestyle section - for no reason, I can rummage the area for hours.

Markina shoe EXPO - Pablo, Pretty Far flung etc.

Segunda Mano shops at Kamuning

Yellow door and Baul at Saguijo

Avenida Rizal

Kauffman ( KARMA)