October 06, 2008

Saturday stress and the 4th

For the past two weeks, I found myself unconsciously narrating to no one, all day long.

I decided to give the walking remedy a try, so I leashed up myself (who technically gained more than 20 lbs) and off the village park in Salcedo, a few minutes from my humble pad. It was a beautiful, cool, perfectly sunny day. I headed back to Plant and window shopped for three hours. I would love to say they were a relaxing three hours, but they were fought with pain the entire way, pain that emanated from my legs with each step I took. I practiced my Bradley breathing techniques: long, slow breaths that filled my entire body, breathing back out into the trees, the woods, the sky and the shops. Deep breaths, the distraction of the sale stickers and keeping me out of line---all these helped to ebb the pain out and away from my body. It was a searing leg pain, felt with each step, almost as though there were some little human head lodged down in there......and then suddenly (insert quirky sensation that leads to a labor epiphany )I spend each day now wondering if this will be the day that forever changes everything. I can't help but take mental notes of all the details so I have them stashed. I'm living in the worst sort of flux I can imagine, I offset the anxiety by meditating on the condition of the day and prayer, the way the world looks, the things I do, the way I feel, logging it all for myself, in what I hope will be a blessing.

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