Naïve compulsions and micro organisms at three – knock me dead!

What a crazy week. Just shoot me now. Please! Take me out back and put me out of my misery. Yes, yes, a .45 will be fine. Thank you.

I’m being sought after wanting to get a piece of my flesh and in due course might just plonk me floating dead along Pasig river - wrapped in plastic.

Avoiding contacts from people ( which I find quite stupid), who wants to get ripped anyway? As much as possible, I’d not want to identify anyone for this. Knock me off, I am above suspicion! It takes a lot of sacrifice to do this – avoiding someone , sigh.

Good lord

Bang my head against the wall for a while.

Current music: silence. Yes. I so deserve it. Nine and a half hours yesterday, nine and a half today. 19 hours this weekend. Shoot me. Please.

-----

You who wants to kaploon me - I really don't think ill of you.

You're a complex kid, but you need to know that representing yourself to
yourself is fraught with paradox. Saying what you don't mean means something;
saying what you mean means something. I won't pretend to have the ability to
sort that out for you.

Perhaps you world is too small for you, too parochial (no pun intended).
When you go to a larger, other place you'll see you have loyal compatriots.

The problem lies in the intellectualization (a word??) of things: knowing
what you mean and don't mean and saying that you know what you mean and don't mean. There is the third part, too, where you subconsciously know what you mean and say otherwise thinking that you actually said what you meant.
Utterly mind-boggling.

I don't get it. But I get what you say: that perception is just that: how one
perceives something; you can't change other people's perceptions if you want
to change how they perceive them. (I think...) That's taking everything at
the sociological level instead of the psychological level if you do. You
said: "you're a complex kid"...the thing is, human beings are by nature
complex, yet not all of them (not even many or a few of them) understand
their own complexity-which I think happens to a select few when they (or
shortly before they) die. By that philosophy, there's one caveat: death and
complete enlightenment go hand in hand. An awful catch, really. But it's
not like I believe in that as far as a practice, merely an idea.

----

Despite all the compulsion, I still rewarded myself with a nice Carbon bag – amazing! And some stuff I got from Jo ( Joyce Orena ) at Greenbelt one lazy morning. Hugs myself!

MY ART

( L-R , TOP Practice sketch / vintage top - Ink on Paper , practice sketch 2 - Ink on construction paper, Crayola on Styro BOTTOM Watercolor on Paper, Black and White Photos 1 & 2 )

( L-R , TOP Pagpukaw - Ink , watercolor, charcoal on Paper , practice sketch 2 - Ink on construction paper BOTTOM craypas on board Paper - entree )

I wasn’t expecting this day to be stress free. As usual, everything was properly coordinated except for one thing – darn! One big total damnation just gave my pocket a big hole. Me being impulsive, the evil military thing hanging somewhere along the rack in Tyler just caught me – I was trapped, tied! The hell! I still got it, and oh – amazing.

Lunch – yeah, boring lunch after a quick stroll at power plant. Kare-kare , a pill of dulcolax to give me extreme intestinal explosion , oh I just love the feeling of letting go haha. Hiroshima!

Thanks grandpa for the Balenciaga vintage jacket. Oh, minor alteration and its good to go. Hahaha

----
6:15 at Ayala, I had the worst creamy chocolate on earth! I so hate Gloria Jeans! Good thing it didn’t cost much. But still, P80 grand for a stupid cup of mud, argh crap man!

7:00 - Light dinner at Spam Jam with Alex, a good laugh, grocery and slight contemplation at Kenzo. I need a work bag for myself, a new one!

---
Baby, I aint a brat. Maybe I’m just fortunate enough to get the things I want without forcing them to buy it for me. Thanks for the knitted tie, I so love it. Just waiting for the right white dress shirt to pair it with. I’ll be getting them next week.

What made me smile for the past two weeks despite my crappy schedule and raindrops.

• 5 tailor made, French cuffed dress shirts – at long last!
• 4 tailor made trousers in bluish gray, khaki and chocolate.
• A balenciaga vintage jacket from Popsie.
• More colognes from tita Nel.
• Amazing knitted slim tie from my baby. Mwah
• Tyler military cardigan
• Polo garage summer shorts – clam diggers
• GC from my boss – amazing! Haha
• Inspiration from the people around me, thanks guys
• Happy days with Bee and Cheska, you guys are my savior!
• Unplanned overspending trip with my bud Cheska- oh you floon!
• Dads birthday
• Oompah loompahs with my cousin Melissa
• Shopping with Tita Nel
• Pineapple steak at kooka bar and dark brewed coffee at Kohikan
• A text message from my sisters and Mommy
• Dads hirit – dad, I know you can be really baduy with your hirits but its all good.haha
• More ties from Anchorage- thanks Tita Rose.
• Gods LOVE - I love you!

********

NOIR, TENORIO MANILA

ñ spanish restaurant with René Barbier Red and White Wines

present

Tenorio Manila's Noir Collection
Manila's sexiest designer shoes in black, black, and black.
A Shoe sales event, 31 August 2005 Wednesday at ñ Spanish Restaurant at Rockwell

Orders will be taken and purchases received on that night, 31 AUG 2005.
Wednesday, 6pm onwards (open bar for the ladies, 6 to 8pm)

I. All pairs sold and ordered on that night will be discounted by Php 1000.
All orders made that night shall require a 50% down payment.
II.Brian Tenorio and the Tenorio Manila Team will be fitting shoes
and/or taking measurements on that night. We will keep your measurements
as your individual personal shoe/fit profile..
III. All Tenorio Manila clients who purchased pairs from our last launch at the Volvo Showroom will get an additional Php 500 discount
(over and above the Php 1000 discount offered on that night; except
for the flat sandals).
IV. Brian Tenorio will play the intelligently darkest audio
tracks, from Badu to Bocelli, from Madonna to Maxwell,
from Sade to Sting. Noir is about depth and richness;
noir is blacker than black, and hotter at that.
V. The sexiest Male and Female will be awarded a pair of
Tenorio Manila X-Sandals and Php 1000 gift check (for the men)
and a Noir Evening Sandal (for the ladies). The details for these
awards are discussed below.*

www.tenorium.com/noir

* hey Bryan, sorry. I'll catch up next time - I owe you one, promise! :p congratulations man , see yah soon

Fucked up with work, as usual – I didn’t get I wanted. Have been up for the past 10 hours and all I want is a good sleep, an amazing crotch scratch and a tummy rub. I got myself 6 tabs of neozep to cure my stuffy and some extra tabs to get me dehydrated, I mean…extract my almost full tummy!

Oh starbucks and my glorious gift check, thank god for Passion tea – spray me, ohhh orgasmic!

Five minutes at Marion Godart, contemplating, still thinking – I actually spotted a carry on khaki work bag , where are the straps? Nahh I don’t really need it!

At carbon, ten minutes after, I spotted an amazing black leather backpack with grey canvass trimming, god! Time to give dad a ring haha

Dinner at Gaudi, a ride home – amazing! Hey, thanks for the sleek knitted slim tie you gave me man, you shouldn’t have!

Hey Dad, Happy birthday aight?

VOWEL BOWEL : AN INSIDE VIEW OF RAMS BACTERIAL WAR

July 14, 2005

of imodium, diatabs and diet tabs...

Trapped, battery dead, forty minutes away from dreamland, five hours after and still waiting for Dodge to finish his stuff, bored, sleepy, constipated, really constipated, I’m on the verge of exploding my toxins…oh come on, if only I could fart here and look innocent. Ten hours after meeting up at podium for my first tall hot mocha at starbucks, eight hours after having my pesto at fazollis, six hours after that great movie at Eastwood with a friend…still constipated.

Turning green, nauseated, vertigo like marble mobiles and hungry bananas all over me.

Still up after twenty hours of work, transactions, client calls, early morning gossip at three [ I blame Datu!], cropped white dress shirt, pink corporate silk tie, second can of soda from our office vendo – barf, barf, barf!

Beeping sound, ID sling tap, escalator ride, cabby ride, swoosh…..raining at ten thirty.

Oh, can’t wait to be the king, a king minus his sceptre, oh I’ve got a replacement for that, yeah a magazine, more magazines [ details, esquire, GQ , metro], the feeling of earth shacking from inside, tummy crumbling like hell, atomic bomb minus death traps and destruction, just torrential green flood and brown slides…damn!

Irritated with frap sipping Orientals, Koreans to be exact – didn’t I tell you, they all sound like starving wild pelicans ha-ha. I see tons of f4 looking, Sandara smiling yellow skinned woo woos – I need a tab now, I mean yeah! IMODIUM!

Weak

Really weak

Constipated

Few more hours till the end of my dynasty!

"I’ve been dying to leave this freaking cyber zone in the heart of Quezon City, Eastwood to be exact – I’m just giving Dodge a chance, thank me dude big time, not seeing my good old’ leprechaun looking brothers is good enough to cherish my memories way back. To Mohohoho who I just spent the afternoon with, I had a great time – and You who’ve been putting a smile on my face for the past few days, thanks – will give you more hugs and hug hug soon….be riding the choo choo train soon to my kingdom.”

--------

[I’m wearing a crisp white dress shirt and a silk green and pink striped tie, charcoal tailored trousers and pointy loafers – store info soon. Fart and kooplahs not included]

"In the end, it doesn’t matter how well we have performed or what we have accomplished. A life without heart is not worth living, for out of the wellspring of our soul flows all caring, all meaningful work, all real worship and all sacrifice. It is in our heart that we first hear the voice of God and learn to live his love. To lose heart is to lose everything so above all things, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life itself."

TRAPPED BETWEEN GRAY AND A RAY OF RED PLASTIC ICONIC PLATES

Getting more and more confused. As I get older, I seem to get more and more confused. Things were much more clearer back then.

As a kid I knew where I was going, I'm totally lost! More vulnerable now than back then... [ Argh, can't stand the feeling]

It's been two weeks, and things can be better, I've learned a valuable lesson this week, always follow up with the promises I make to myself [ Thanks to Carlo Rufino - hey Paul Smith Guy, give me some discounts!]. For some reason whenever I don't, life tells me it was wrong and it punishes me for lying to myself and not following what I really want. Don't let other things side track you from doing what you want. Right now, I just have to make the best of it and remember the reason I am doing right now - the end result will be very rewarding.

Well, It is about half way over, and I've been up and down. Overall I have to say the experience is good for me, as are vegetables are good for me though I may not like it sometimes .

Sometimes people can't stand me. How I see others, I see the good except when they're being negative, but for the most part I'd like to believe I am open enough to accept all the personalities I encounter. I do hate negative people but only when they are being negative. Some people here just dismiss others because of personality differences, or don't have enough in common...Grow the FUCK UP......................

Been up for 48 hours, still thinking of brightly colored flip flops and marbles...missing those days when paper planes and paper boats were still all over me - sunshine path, GONE!
Ramon sings Mr. Blue bird at 2, prays and thanks God for everything smiles, winks - farts!

MY LIST!

Onion rings from brothers burger, They're the best in town! Chuck Taylor - vintage and hip, pure classic, white crisp dress shirt, can pair them up with anything Tiangge! Greenhills, Ukay-Ukay, Thrift shops along evangelista, Altered jeans from manong Apron near Rockwell hahaha, I finally found my suki! Tyler - need I say more? Hanes for my plain tees, Addidas vintage sneaks, running shorts – speedo, seven for my brightly colored cardigans, Linea tan shoes hahaha - got it on sale! smart buy, nunn and roti from breadtalk and swagat , Coffee bean – they’ve got the best barristas hahahaha, just wanna hug you all.... lalala at Jen, Gino, Monica, Cheska, Phil, Mickey, Havaianas.... my all around flipos, Lacoste plain bright tops ,loalde....fave since high school ,jeans from old navy, gap, gas and banana republic ,Cibo - yum yum, Brazil Brazil - wanna get fat? haha yum...., Pastor Joey, thanks for inspiring me to be a better person My Thursday group- you guys are the best, learned a lot from all of you, Carlo Rufino - Figaro 1 to 1 hahaha, pizza and coffee....hey, 12 chapters more haha, GOD - hugs yah tight!

TENORIO SHOES @ SOLEA

Each single pair of Tenorium is meticulously constructed by hand, each pair is unique and precious, just like yourself!
www.tenorium.com

You’ve been invited to Manila’s sexiest “post-event event”.
Imagine this: the model units of Manila’s most exclusive designer condominium property available for viewing. Designer shoes on the floor—a man’s pair and woman’s pair by the bed. Designer ensembles from some of Manila's finest luxe fashion designers on the bedspreads, like some getting-to-know has just recently occurred. Imagine a limited fashion-show ‘follow-up’ of beautiful cocktail ensembles sprawled on those luxurious beds. You've been invited to Manila's sexiest “post-event event”, only the tryst-ing subjects aren’t there, just their lingering appeal. Featuring the designer cocktail ensembles of Edwin Tan, Ino Caluza, Ivar Aseron, Joey Samson, Katrina Goulbourn for Silk Cocoon, LZ Punzalan, OJ Hofer, Maylyn Estrella, and Popo Go on Pia Rivera, Danii Fenix, and Victor Basa

THURSDAY, 21 JULY 2005,The Residences at Greenbelt Showroom (beside Bollywood, Greenbelt 2, 3/F),Cocktails from 6 to 10pm.

GET HAPPY @ www.GETHAPPYONLINE.com
(family support here!)

My mom and my aunt are a bit of a jewelry savant: I think it's all very lovely and appreciate its artistry and chic, but I rarely wear any except for necklaces with personal significance like the gold one mom bought for me in Bangkok and a Keneth Cole leather strap bracelet and which I seem to collect in ever-quirkier droves. While I know nothing about gemstones, metals, history or what have you, I am beguiled by the lethal combination of charm and bite, and these GET HAPPY by Happy David have plenty of both in spades... check it out!

GET HAPPY Accessories are available at U RUSTAN's Makati / Robinson's Place Ermita / Gateway Mall Araneta Center / XOXO Rustan's Tower. MAG:NET PLUS The Loop Abs-Cbn / Paseo Center Makati / Katipunan Between Rustans & ibank. ISHQ Astoria Plaza, THESTOREWITHNONAME Robinson's Galleria, SHUBIZZ The Shops Greenhills / SM Malls. LUCY in the Sky line available at: HOUSE of LAUREL 6013 Villena st cor Manalac Poblacion Makati, FIRMA Greenbelt 3