October 21, 2008

WEEKEND ATTENTION DISORDER ( ON BEING IDLE)

This photo just made my day ( photo: Altamira NYC)

I asked myself regarding my two weekends of pure boredom which I suspected might have some sketchy points. During those two weeks, I was trying so hard to stay connected in the moment, so that as much of the experience as possible would imprint on my mind for recall in the years ahead. My connection to details around me notably decreased, as I focused more and more inwardly, noting less and less of the activity and atmosphere around me.

In my mind I'm working on various postpartum ( I was never pregnant and will never be haha) posts, though none of them have hit the keyboard. My days alone for the past few weekends seem to unwind in light speed, eaten up by every-two-hours bathroom break sessions with my stock of style magazines ( yes I have a dresser full of GQ, Details, Cargo, Esquire, Nylon, Wallpaper, I.D etc), unending lack of activity due to multiple wardrobe changes throughout the day, and a compulsion to have my room as clean as possible at all times. At first, this compulsion was motivated by the constant and sometimes unexpected stream of inactivity in the past two weeks. But, now that I’m back on track, I still feel compelled to spend every moment endlessly tidying. This is not how I want to spend this priceless time alone which expires today.

This gives me a strange pleasure, and makes me feel more responsible somehow. I wake up each Saturday with a long list of cleaning and organizing projects, and develop an unkind headache if I try to ignore the next item on the list. I feel certain this attention to my microcosm is also propelled by the fact that I have been bored an unusually over productive. I have started to become a bit claustrophobic, and I'm pretty sure the constant housecleaning is some reaction to that. The longer I'm pinned in these walls, the more dust and general muck I see, and panic that the existence of such things will get me reported to the yaya patrols.

Schedule for the week of October 20 – 26

· I’ll be covering fashion week thanks to Lester
· My friends funeral on Thursday – I’ll miss you man!
· More new business for the agency
· Bag search – I’m in need of a new tote
· Recycle!
· Visit to Viktors – thank god they’re now in greenbelt 5!

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